I'm listening but they're not

I love to lend my ears for everybody that feel burden and not happy with her or his life. For me, listen to the others problem is something valuable that taught us life is vary. We never know their past and how hard their living in this irregular world drama...

Listener is a chosen one. They believe on you and who they comfortable with. I used to be a listener but sometimes I clogged. I don't know what words should I use to advise. This is heart to heart game. I want to make them relieved, without hurt again..

But me is different. When I feel burden, I'll keep it. I felt weak when they knew I'm sad. Just pretending like nothing bothering me now. I'm HAPPY, I'm NO tears. I'm trouble-FREE!!!
But I admit its deep tortured...

Another thing is I hate with their respond. The feedback is not what I expect. They will said a word
"sabar la.." then they'll talking about their X, their pets, their monkey. bla..bla..bla..


WHY?

Is it because....

I'm troublesome??

They don't understand me??

They don't know how to respond??

They don't have time to think about others??


Or..


Do I care with your fucking shit?????





I should make survey form regarding on this...

I do love my job

I do love my job...

Whenever I sit down and staring the computer screen,
And I don't have idea with what really I'm doing,
I feel damn useless when others seriously talking about the on going project,
And I'm pretending like I'm busy when people walking around.

I do love my job...

When I'm stress thinking about people around me,
They seems like didn't care at all,
But actually their eyes, their ears are alert,
Watching me with pandangan pelik,
"Hey, ape function budak ni kat sini haa???

I do love my job...

When I feel alone and...alone,
I was unable to make friends,
"Hey dude!! You saw I'm smiling but actually I'm not,
I'm hiding the truth of me,
I'm hypocrite,
And I'm tired with this"




Do you love your job?
.........Negative

Time and satisfaction

Velocity of object A = 0.4 m/s

Acceleration of object B = 0.1 m/s^2

How many valuable things u have done in a second?Mungkin sangat kecil skala itu...
Ok, in a minute?Hurmm..nak tunggu laptop on pon dah setengah jam...
Ok la, in an hour??

We have been taught since our childhood that T.I.M.E is precious. We are being told of not to waste time by doing something useless. How about today? Do you act like the T.I.M.E is precious???

Who is wasting time?
Yup ME..absolutely.
That's ME wasting every single time that I have.

I want to be a person that appreciate time. Time is moving and I need to go after it. Catch up everything yang perlu. Achieve everything yang selalu kita impikan. But life is not a straight line. Life is a long journey that we do not know what's going on in 1KM ahead. We cannot simply grab 10 apples in one time even we are an octopus...

What about others satisfaction?

Everyday I tried my best to be the best. I work hard for my job. I sit as comfortable as I can in such situation that makes me feel silly. But still, I cannot satisfy everybody. No doubt because that's a reality.

But I'm scared.
I'm scared if I do it wrong.
Because I'm no one and I work with high expectation people.
I'm stress but nobody knows.

Luckily I have Allah. Only Allah knows everything inside me. Allah the Almighty..



Ya Allah, janganlah Engkau jadikan aku seorang hamba yang hanya mengingatiMU ketika susah. Jauhilah aku dari perasaan takbur dan membangga diri. Jadikanlah aku seorang hambaMU yang sentiasa bersyukur ketika susah dan senang. Aku memohon kekuatan dariMU Ya Allah...

Kesempurnaan

Aq tak sempurna..

Aq juga tahu mengeluh dengan kehidupan. In English we call it sigh. And everybody knows it's a sin. Bila mana letih dengan urusan duniawi, malas menurut kata ibu bapa, bermenung mengenang nasib diri...aq akan mengeluh dan mengeluh dan mengeluh.

Aq memang tak sempurna..

Aq tak dapat kuasai sesuatu yang dianggap mudah bagi orang lain. The ability, the limitation is the reason. She got A for the subject yang bagi aq killer habis. He can solves the calculation yang aq dah try more than 10 times hanya sekelip mata. Maka bermulalah sikap banding membanding yang akhirannya sikap putus asa.

Lagi sekali..aq tak sempurna..

Aq sentiasa bersyukur dengan apa yang Allah kurniakan dalam hidup aq. Adakalanya ia di luar jangkaan aq dan yang tak pernah aq rasai. Aq bersyukur. Tapi disebaliknya aq melakukan perkara yang dimurkaiNYA. Aq melakukan dosa. Dan Allah masih melimpahkan nikmat dan rezekiNYA pada hamba seperti aq. Until at one point, aq malu bersujud padaNYA.

Dan aq tak sempurna..
Aq ade something that can be proud of. Pelajaran yang menjamin masa depan, career yang bakal dimulakan dan penampilan kemas mata memandang.Tapi aq tak pernah jumpa seseorang yang cukup baiknya untuk dijadikan teman hidup. Aq mencari dan aq mengenali tapi buntu. Mungkin aq tak cukup baik untuk orang yang baik.

.............................

Manusia sememangnya tiada yang sempurna. Apa yang anda ada jangan anda persoalkan dan jangan anda abaikan. Never say life is unfair. It's fair enough to live with others on the same ground. Never ask for the perfectness. At the end of the day, we will suffer with our own expectation.

Mukadimah maybe..

Kita punya hati dan suara tapi tak selalunya sama. Boy and girl, parents and children, saksi and peguambela, you and maybe your neighbour..punyai pendapat yang tidak sekutu. Who cares?? sebab semua berbeza fikiran dan ade hak masing-masing.
Dengan fikiran juga kita punya idea untuk mengarang. Please remember, tulisan juga ade sensitivity tapi wujudnya tulisan itu kerana si pengarang yang juga punya hak. So, there's no such thing kutuk-mengutuk, caci-maki or what so ever if you are here as a reader.

.......................

Nama aq Nurul. Aq di sini sebagai pengguna ruangan untuk diri aq sendiri. Sound like selfish but it's not. Aq tak suka luahan secara lisan jadi aq menulis. There's a lot of paper "about me" kat rumah so why not aq guna technology? Save the trees...

Ok just make it short. Life & colours begin...